Opening Day 2013– Together We Lost Another Opener

It's like stepping in a large pile of deja vu on the sidewalk. All over again. On April 1, 2013, the San Francisco Giants lost their 6th season opener in the last ten years.

Will anything get this off my sneakers?

Before the Giants met the newly diamond-encrusted, gold leaf festooned Los Angeles Dodgers yesterday at Chavez Ravine word on the streets was, SF's gonna take this thing. Unfortunately the names of those streets were Market, King, and 3rd.

It all looked so good. Staff ace and human equine Matt Cain was getting the first season opening assignment of his career. LA shortstop and petulant pre-teen Hanley Ramirez was out of the line-up with an injury.

So it appeared San Francisco might have a chance against the world's ultimate Giant killer– LA starter Clayton Kershaw.

In the stage directing words of Dom Deluise in the film "Blazing Saddles", "WRONG!".

Kershaw hit a home run, pitched a complete game shutout, and continued work on his doctoral dissertation in the dugout between innings.

I think he also prepared the after game meal spread, choosing a delightful 2010 Domaine Tempier Bandol to go with the braised pork.

Watching Clayton Kershaw on the mound he seems pretty calm out there, but he just might be upset with the 2013 MLB schedule– apparently the Dodgers only play the Giants 19 times.

In the last three seasons Clayton Kershaw has put a win next to his name seven (7) times against San Francisco.

As for the Giants, their 4-6 record the past ten years in season openers (including three in a row thanks to yesterday) does have a solution. Two of their four wins over that time came against the Houston Astros, who were told last year to either leave the National League or take a ride with Clemenza and a bag of cannoli.

It's clear to me we need to petition Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig to have his blue ribbon Oakland A's relocation committee also study the feasibility of moving Houston back to the National League. Preferably by the All Star break this season.

As far as getting over another Giants' bitch-slapping from Kershaw, let's everybody step in from the 45th floor ledge of the building and take a long, deep breath. As KNBR sports talk broadcaster Marty Laurie often says, "Thanks for the call Mentally Disturbed Bill from Vallejo, great call… that was just a great call." 

But if LA manages to beat Madison Bumgarner tonight in game two of the 2013 season, I am prepared to officially start following the Fargo Timberdevils of the North American Indoor Grizzly Bear Wrestling League.

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