Barry Bonds Told to Move to the Back of the Hall of Fame Bus

Baseball Hall of Fame voters just made one of the most absurd decisions in the history of Hall eligibility today, and one that will be seen as petty and outrageous years from now: one of the top 10 players in the history of Major League Baseball was just denied placement in the Baseball Hall of Fame.

In his first year of eligibility former Giants' slugger Barry Bonds was refused acceptance in the hallowed and sacred halls of Cooperstown because the baseball writers who decide who gets in and who is left out felt that a little vigilante justice was in order.

Because, although Bonds was never proven to take performance enhancing drugs (PEDs) we all know he's as guilty as hell and if the law won't bring him to justice, why we'll just round up some of the boys and get the job done ourselves.

How insufferably righteous of the baseball writers who decided to leave Bonds off their 2013 ballots– he received only 36.2% of the votes cast. They believe that Barry just doesn't have the necessities to be included in a shrine to the great game that currently includes any number of drug abusers, cheaters, racists, serial alcoholics, felons, and world class assholes.

Sorry Mr. Bonds, you don't make the cut to be with those guys. But you be sure and try next year and we might consider you. You know, after you've served your "wrist-slapping" sentence for using PEDs and not getting caught.

So the Baseball establishment has decided the Hall of Fame is not merely a grand museum celebrating the great achievements of those who played the game at the highest level. Now this exhibition hall of plaques, bats, gloves, baseballs, and various other inanimate objects is going to be used as a moral litmus test, a sonogram of righteousness to determine if eligible players were also good people who played the game fair.

Maybe the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown should take the next logical step in this thought process.

Visitors seeking admission to the Hall should first be background checked for any negative personal history, followed by drug, alcohol, and PED testing before being allowed through those hallowed doors.

And if anyone we deem unfit tries to enter our sacred MLB house of worship? We'll take care of that… get a rope.

What about Pete Rose being admitted to the Hall of Fame. Isn't this the same thing, you ask?
Pete Rose has the most hits (4,256) and played the most games (3,562) of any player in the history of baseball but he was found to have bet on baseball both as a player and as the Manager of the Cincinnati Reds in the 1980s. After years of publicly lying about it, and unsuccessfully suing the Commissioner's Office, in 2004 Rose finally admitted betting as a player and a manager.
Unlike the Bonds situation, Rose violated an existing MLB rule outlawing his behavior at the time:
Major League Baseball Rule 21 – Misconduct, (d) Betting On Ball Games.
"Any player, umpire, or club or league official or employee, who shall bet any sum whatsoever upon any baseball game in connection with which the bettor has a duty to perform shall be declared permanently ineligible.







Richard Dyer

About Richard Dyer

Writer, bass player, carrot juice wrangler. His Twitter following is limited to one person at a time. "My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music." --Vladimir Nabokov