Stop the Presses! More MLB Breaking News!


BASEBALL HEADLINES FROM NEWSPAPERS ACROSS THE NATION

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NEW YORK YANKEES TRADE ROGER CLEMENS TO LA DODGERS FOR $14M

“Roger Hasn’t Actually Been on the Team Since 2007,” Stated Yankee GM Brian Cashman, “But the New Dodger Ownership Insisted”

NOSTRADAMUS PREDICTED PITTSBURGH PIRATES WOULD FINISH ABOVE .500 IN 2012

Also Predicted Bigger Raisins Would Eventually Be Used In Popular Bran Cereal and that President Joe Biden Would Entangle US in Costly War With Canada

VIN SCULLY, 84, RETURNING TO DODGER BROADCAST BOOTH IN 2013

Will Only Do The 3rd Inning of Home Games Every Other Tuesday To Physically Prepare for Upcoming Marriage to Lindsay Lohan

BUD SELIG PLANNING TO MAKE 2013 ALL STAR GAME EVEN MORE EXCITING

Baseball Commissioner Says “Lord of the Rings” Trilogy To Be Screened On Scoreboard During Lengthy 7th Inning Stretch;  First Born Children of Losing Players to Be Moved to, Then Driven Out Of, Egypt;  “Find the Tainted Roast Turkey Sandwich” Stadium Promotion Will Keep Fans Focused

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