Look! The Hindenburg is About to Land on the Titanic

San Francisco Giant fans are busy searching for just the right disaster metaphor to describe how badly the first month and a half of the 2012 season has gone for their beloved Gigantes. You can join in, and it’s loads of fun!

Create your own catastrophic image of the 2012 Giants’ season by using combinations of the following classic disaster elements: the arrival of Godzilla in Tokyo, the 1906 San Francisco earthquake, the Nixon presidency, or any number of zombies-roaming-the-earth scenarios. And I believe that Federal law mandates that you must throw in one gratuidous Titanic reference.
Don’t get me wrong, I love San Francisco fans, but there is a small minority out there whose apparent enthusiastic use of medication makes them repeatedly dial sports talk radio hosts and bloviate uncontrollably about how doomed the Giants are at any given moment.

Sports talk callers frequently use those 50,000 kilowatts to display profound mid and long term memory loss combined with an inability to understand any statistics beyond batting average and how many contestants are left on “American Idol” this week.

SFG_toasterSo whenever the Giants lose a game the talkshow airwaves are once again filled with “why don’t they play Brett Pill play everyday because he can really hit the ball” (.234BA); or, “Nate Schierholtz is a great ballplayer because he has a such strong arm” (Nate the Great’s base running and defense has single-handedly contributed to at least two losses this season); and “why doesn’t Brian Sabean just trade Steve Edlefsen and Emmanuel Burriss to the Yankees for Robinson Cano?”.

The basic question out there is, as of May 14, 2012 are the Giants in fact a crunchy and frequently buttered breakfast food often enjoyed with juice or coffee?

Not hardly, pilgrim. Success, as someone should have have said, has a million sperm donors; defeat is an orphan with outstanding felony warrants and untreatable STDs. At least on sports talk radio.

Sure, the San Francisco Giants have gone through difficult times this year– run scoring is harder to find than a spotted owl, the defense smells like it’s several months past its use-by date, and the pitching seems to cough up runs at all the wrong moments. But as bad as things have been, it’s not time to start elbowing the women and children off the lifeboats just yet.

Because the story so far is a lot more positive than it may appear.

After losing their best hitter, Pablo Sandoval, for 6 weeks with a broken bone in his hand; after seeing lefty bullpen mainstay Jeremy Affeldt go down with an injury for two weeks; as the wait for former NL batting champ Freddy Sanchez to return from rehab continues for months; and after the team’s ace Tim Lincecum has tanked in to the tune of 2 wins 3 losses, a 1.58 WHIP and 39 hits with 19 walks in 36.2 IP…   after all that, guess what?

The Giants are 17-17 and a mere 6 games behind the hottest team in baseball– the 23-11 Los Angeles Dodgers. San Francisco just finished a 3-3 road trip and players like Melky Cabrera, Gregor Blanco and Joaquin Arias are stoking up.

Sometimes it’s best to go against Van Morrison’s advice and just turn off your radio. With 128 games to go there’s plenty of time to put this season into drive and start lapping the field.

Richard Dyer

About Richard Dyer

Writer, bass player, carrot juice wrangler. His Twitter following is limited to one person at a time. "My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music." --Vladimir Nabokov