Hey It’s Me! The Best Giants Fan in the History of Mankind!

"Welcome back to GiantsTalk on KOMG, the Bay Area's All Sports Leader– we know sports so you don't have to.

"I'm your host Denny Stone and we talk San Francisco Giants 8 hours a night every Monday through Friday from 7:30PM to 3:30AM in the morning on sports talk KOMG.

"Let's take our first call this evening, and it's Norm from Hayward– go ahead Norm."

"Denny… ."

"This is Denny Stone, go ahead Norm… ".

"Denny! This is Norm."

"Hey Norm, whatcha got for us?"


"Go Norm, you got the bridge buddy, where you takin' us?"

"Denny! It's Norm from Hayward."

"What's up Normy, do you want to weigh in on that Bonds and Hall of Fame voting thing…?"


"All right Norm I'm gonna have to take another call here, whatta ya got for our listeners… ."

"Hey Denny I live in Hayward and I am the greatest San Francisco Giants fan ever. My dad took me to the first game at Seals Stadium when the Giants came out from New York. I got an autographed bat from Willie Mays, I was at the Stick before any of these new fans were even born… ."

"Fantastic, Norm. How do you think the Giants are looking for the 2013 season buddy?"

"All these other so-called fans are so full of it. I was at Opening Day when Candlestick Park first opened and I have a complete collection of… ."

"Sounds great Norm. What about these 2013 Giants– can they take the World Series again?"

" …Denny!"

"OK, let's move on to our next caller. Hey there, you are on GiantsTalk on the big KOMG, let's hear from Ed over in Albany. Ed, what's on your mind?"

"Hey Denny, Ed from Albany. Hey, how are ya?"

"I'm fine Ed. Now what's on your mind tonight?"

"I attended every Giants home game since 1976, when I was 8 years old. There isn't anyone who's a better Giants fan than me. All these guys who jumped on board when we went to the World Series, they don't know crap…  they all suck. Am I right? Denny, they're all posers not real fans like me."

"You have been there and done that Ed my man. Now what the heck's going on with that Hall of Fame vote and Mr. Bonds?"

"Denny, let me tell you a few things about the San Francisco Giants. That team when they had J.T. Snow and Will Clark, that was the best. I think they were on the team together like for one season but that was the best. My family and I were out there every night unlike these other so-called fans– I saw it all."

"Thanks Ed, good stuff, good stuff. You know it's great to see the fans pass this great passion for the game and for the Giants down to their kids over the years, it's just wonderful."

"Hey, we got Tom on line 3 out of San Francisco. You're on Denny Stone's GiantsTalk, what's goin on big Tom… ."

"Hey Norm, I mean Denny. How are you?"

"I'm fine Tom."

"OK, so these callers all talk about being great Giants fans but you know what… ? Denny, you know what… ?"

"What's that Tom."

"I know I'm the greatest Giants fan in the world and I can prove it. I got this T-shirt with big letters across the front that says 'World's Greatest Giants Fan'. So I have the actual proof Denny, although I think my cousin might have got this shirt in New Jersey last NFL season. I was going to games way before the Giants got good and we used to… ."

"Thank you big Ed from Albany. I love it when Ed calls in, you just never know what he's going to say."

"Let's take one more call here before I play my two hour interview with Ralph Thompson who's the great uncle of former Giant's batboy Rusty Simmons. Ralph and I talked a lot of baseball and I think you'll get a big kick out of our conversation."

"Hey this is Denny Stone and you're on KOMG GiantsTalk."

"Denny …!"

"Hello again Norm. Let's go to… how about  we go to Bob from Pacifica. Bob's upset by a trade."

"Hi Denny how are you?"

"I'm fine Bob, what's on your mind tonight?"

"I can't believe how incompetent Brian Sabean is. He is the worst GM in the history of baseball, Denny. He overpays for Barry Zito, what, a couple hundred million, then he trades away the one guy who would have definitely been a big home run guy for us. John Bowker. Those idiots in the Giants front office let John Bowker go for nothing."

"That was in 2010 Bob. And the Giants got Javier Lopez for Bowker. Lopez helped them win two World Series. Why did you like Bowker so much?"

"Cause he could really hit the ball, Denny. I mean boom! that guy had real power and he was a great hitter. I still can't believe the Giants let him go. It's absolutely crazy."

"Well you know Bob, Bowker hit in the .230s, had a terrible on-base percentage, and really didn't hit for much power."

"But Denny, when Bowker hit the ball it was like boom! You know? Boom!"

"And Bob, I believe Bowker's almost out of baseball because there wasn't much interest by any other teams to go after him… ."

"Boom!, Denny, boom!"

"Thank you Bob. Bob's a long-time caller who always brings a lot to the table when we are talking World Champion GiantsTalk on KOMG."

"What, one more call before the break? OK how about Andy down in Palo Alto. What's going on Andy… ."

"How are you tonight Denny?"

"I'm fine Andy what's on your mind?"

"Hey Denny I am the true world's #1 Giants fan ever, but first I got a trade we need to make before Spring Training 2013. And could you call Brian Sabean for me and tell him about this trade so we could get it done. What about sending a package of Joaquin Arias, George Kantos, and Brett Pill to the Yanks for Robinson Cano. I think they'd go for it."

"Andy, why would the Yankees trade Robinson Cano to the Giants for those players. It just doesn't make any sense."

"Yes it does, it does Denny! See the Yankees need a power hitting first baseman and Brett Pill is that guy; and they can replace Cano with Arias and then Kantos is just an extra throw-in."

"All due respect Andy, I'm not seein' New York pull the trigger on that trade. Even if glaciers sink below the ground and land in hell. Have you got anything else for us Andy?"

"Boom, Denny!  Boom… ."

Richard Dyer

About Richard Dyer

Writer, bass player, carrot juice wrangler. His Twitter following is limited to one person at a time. "My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music." --Vladimir Nabokov