Stop The Presses! More MLB News

Baseball headlines from newspapers around the Nation:
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CONVICTED FORMER SLUGGER BARRY BONDS CONTINUES GOOD WORKS TO REHABILITATE IMAGE
Follows Up College Fund For Injured Fan’s Kids With Offer To Put Buster Posey’s Children Through Summer Camp


ANGRY SF GIANTS GM BRIAN SABEAN VOWS TO HUNT DOWN MARLINS OUTFIELDER SCOTT COUSINS IN RESPONSE TO POSEY INJURY
Sabean In Contract Talks With Navy SEAL Team 6 – “At The End of The Day, We Will Unleash A Special Kind of Hell on This Young Man”

FLORIDA OUTFIELDER COUSINS SPOTTED IN MOUNTAINS AT AFGHAN-PAKISTANI BORDER
Pakistan President Asif Ali Zardari Claims His Government Is Not Assisting Cousins – “We were as surprised as anyone about this and we are cooperating fully with the Giants”, stated a shaken Zardari  

NEWLY HUMBLE BARRY BONDS INCREASES IMAGE ENHANCING ACTIVITIES 
SF Giants Players With Flu-like Symptoms To Receive Expensive Fruit Basket; Tells Nation’s Drivers “Send Me All Your Outstanding Parking Tickets”; Arranges For State Lotto Quick-Pick Losers To Receive Encouraging Phone Call From Dali Lama

BASEBALL COMMISSIONER BUD SELIG ANNOUNCES NEW AMERICAN LEAGUE DIVISION FEATURING THE NEW YORK YANKEES
The Newly Formed “Pinstripes Division” Will Consist Of Three Teams; Selig Says Inclusion of Pittsburgh Pirates and Houston Astros Will Ensure Yankees Make The Post Season “For The Rest Of Eternity” 

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