Kansas City Royals star pitcher Joakim Soria said recently that he wants to dump his nickname, “The Mexicutioner’, with its negative connection to all the violence occurring in his home country of Mexico.
The Royals front office immediately came up with a list of potential replacement nicknames for the righty closer (with staff comments), one of which will be chosen and used on an interim basis during Spring Training to see if works out.
Top 10 Replacement Nicknames for Joakim Soria
10. The Sultan of Throw (could be mistaken for local rug emporium owner)
9.The Excuseme-erator (would off-set negatives of his old nickname)
8. Hammerin’ Joakim
7. Charles Hustle (more formal version of nickname used by that other guy)
6. The Medium Sized Unit
5. Mr. Cub (may have to involve a potential trade)
4. The Iron Caballo
3. Lefty (nickname works better if Soria agrees to alter pitching stance, windup)
2. Stan the Man (might have been previously used—staff is checking)
…and the number one replacement nickname for Joakim Soria…
1. The Soriator (possible identity confusion with popular robot vacuum cleaner)