Stop the Presses 4 – Even More Major League Baseball News!

 Baseball headlines from newspapers around the Nation:
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FORMER MLB PITCHER ROB DIBBLE TELLS ACTOR MICHAEL DOUGLAS TO "MAN UP" OVER RECENT CANCER DIAGNOSIS
Dibble Also Demands Toys Be Removed From Local Children’s Hospital Ward

NEW TEXAS RANGERS OWNER NOLAN RYAN SAYS MINOR LEAGUE STARTERS WILL BE ON STRICT PITCHING COUNTS
“Once They Throw 200 Pitches in a Game, They’re Out”, Stated the Former Big League Fireballer

PITTSBURGH PIRATES PURCHASED BY JAPANESE INTERNATIONAL BANKING GROUP
Team to be Renamed “Hello Kitty Pirates”, Manager(s) Required to Commit Suicide After Each Loss

WASHINGTON NATIONALS OUTFIELDER NYJER MORGAN THREATENS TO BREAK EVEN MORE RULES
Morgan Stated He Will Initially Focus on the Golden Rule, Then “Bitch Slap All Seven of Those Ten Commandments”

SPORTS DIGEST: PITTSBURGH PIRATES MANAGER JOHN RUSSELL ABRUPTLY RESIGNS
Bucs’ Skipper Plans to Immediately Start a Family, Then Announce His Intention to Spend More Time With Them

 

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