Stop the Presses 3 – More Major League Baseball News!

Baseball headlines from newspapers around the Nation:
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BASEBALL COMMISSIONER HEEDS CALL FOR MLB ALL STAR GAME TO HAVE MORE MEANING AND DRAMA
2013 Game Will Feature Live Hostage Situation, Stunning 7th Inning Revelation About Santa Claus, and Free Lifetime Supply of Bacon to Winning Team

PETE ROSE CONFESSES TO GAMBLING ON BASEBALL, ASSASSINATING PRESIDENT GARFIELD, CAUSING MASSIVE OIL LEAK IN GULF
“This changes everything,” states Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig

NEW YORK YANKEES PURCHASE EASTERN EUROPEAN COUNTRY OF ESTONIA
Yankee Stadium Peanut and Churro Vending Sales Fund Purchase of Expanded Spring Training Location

CUBS HURLER CARLOS ZAMBRANO GOES ON SHOOTING SPREE IN ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASS– NO INJURIES REPORTED
“We’re just lucky his aim is so bad”, said a police spokesman

MLB UMPIRE JIM JOYCE WANTS DON LARSEN’S 1956 PERFECT WORLD SERIES GAME OVERTURNED
Controversial Ump Convinced New Evidence Proves Brooklyn Dodger’s 5th Inning Foul Ball Was Actually Fair, Demands Corrective Action

YANKEE FRONT OFFICE MUM ON QUESTION OF ESTONIA NUCLEAR CAPABILITY
Yankee GM Brian Cashman’s Message to United Nations: “We Hope the World Community Understands the Value of the Yankee Way”

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